My Dear Readers,

It’s been 1 year since I started my blog.

I would like to take this opportunity to Thank All the Wonderful Authors, Writers, and Bloggers that I have connected with within our community. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t think of everyone.

You Have All Touched My Life.

I have not posted nor been active in our community lately, and I would like to share why.

After having my lumbar spine fused with plates and screws in 2003. I was left with Intractable Lumbar Pain.

I have had an implanted pain pump for the last 10 years. My now 2nd pump battery was due to shut off at the end of January 2014.

Our medical insurance changed leaving me to pay out an outrageous deductible before any payment for medical services would be payed out at 80%.

As a result my pump shut off and I was placed on pain pills. There is a Significant difference having medication delivered directly into my spine to manage my pain and a pill.

This has left me depressed, in pain, and my quality of life has taken a downward spiral.

In January of this year I had a chest x-ray as part of pre-operative orders.

(this was before finding out the insurance coverage deductible)

I have Ground Glass Nodules, and a few masses throughout my lung fields.

I’m in the process of seeing a Pulmonologist.

I’m still left in the same position of not being able to have a lung biopsy due to the F$%*ing insurance.

I went from living for me a somewhat active life, to being completely sedentary,

Frustrated, and depressed.

Please know I miss reading and commenting on All Your Works of Art.

With Much Love to All My Friends,


  1. SouthernSir says:

    Sorry to hear you are feeling down.

    When I was suffering from intense back pain I was feeling depressed from lack of sleep and of course the constant pain. I came across something that helped me quite a bit it is called DLPA. It is an amino acid known to help depression and it also has some analgesic properties.
    It took the edge off my pain and helped with the depression.
    It might be worth looking into.

    Sending you healing thoughts.


    • Dearest Southern Sir,
      Thank you so much for sharing, it means the world to me. I will definitely check out DLPA. I would prefer to take a “natural” form of an anti-depressant then anything prescribed.


      • SouthernSir says:

        I know the feeling all to well the pain wears on you and it is like a vicious cycle.
        One of the reasons I was drawn to the DLPA was because it is natural and is non-addictive.
        On the upside it helped me a sleep a bit better which helped in breaking the cycle as well.


      • I Greatly Appreciate your suggestion! Tomorrow I will go to the health food store.


  2. phoenixasubbie says:

    Love to you. Sending you hopes and prayers.. xxoo


  3. elsie elmore says:

    So sorry to hear about your pain and struggle. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    Sending you hugs and hope for comfort and relief.


  4. kdaddy23 says:

    Congrats on your first year as an amazing blogger! I understand the pain thing; when I had my stroke (eight years ago this month) it left me with constant, non-stop neuropathic pain and pain that just doesn’t go anywhere despite Lyrica being able to take some of the edge off – but not enough that I’d say it makes me feel pain free – but it’s better than the opioids I was taking at first – and it still hurts like a bitch to shower and even wear clothes, or sweat, or be cold. Even typing hurts, like someone’s sticking needles into my fingertips.

    It’s no fun and I know how the pain can just beat and wear on you – it’s insidious and that’s putting it nicely. I do my best to laugh at all of this… because it’s better than crying and they say it’s the best medicine (although I’d rather have something that’ll make me not hurt 24/7). Do your best not to let it get and keep you down, okay?


    • Dearest KD,
      I’m deeply touched, thank you for sharing with me your journey. I know I should not let this over power me. I have allowed this to run me instead of me running it. I’ve been on opiates for so long the pills are like m&m’s. Thank you for giving me Inspiration to take back control. Thank you for the gift of insight you have given me, I’m deeply appreciative.
      Much Love To You My Friend


  5. Desiree G says:

    My Sweet Anastasia — I think of you daily!! I still have “our story” waiting for when you feel up to it. I miss your uplifting support but understand the twilight zone of pain and depression. Much love to you, friend!!!!


    • My Sweetness,
      I’m so sorry for not dropping you a line. I miss you, and do plan on focusing my energies on positivity like our story. I have fallen into a depressive funk. Those words are in a file thats been sadly gathering dust. The dust bunnies πŸ‡pop out when I occasionally lift my laptop lid. I don’t want to feed them any more .
      Hugs & Kisses 😘


      • Desiree G says:

        If you don’t have the energy for the story just yet — you can always just make it a goal to send me a smile or two every few days!! Sending you positive, bright and joyful thoughts, vibes and hugs.


      • I’m deeply touched and honoured to have you in my life. Thank you for sending your love & light.
        Big Hugs, Muahhhh 😘


  6. Michael says:

    Anastasia, I hate to hear this and hope you will be able to find some foundations that my be able to assist you (fingers crossed)! I have missed your amazing presence, support, and writing…hope you are able to get the care you need and a speedy recovery–you are missed!


  7. Dearest Anastasia, saddened to hear of your struggles. I too have experienced severe back pain and had to give up dancing as every time I did I ended up in crippling pain for a long period afterwards. I too looked for a natural method of managing the pain and depression of losing a loved part of my life and the cycle of pain management. I used 5HTTP which is also an amino acid which helps with sleep and mood regulation. These days I cannot believe I even used to have the levels of pain I had become accustomed to. I am pain free and am dancing again although not the same kind of dance or to the same level of physicality. Wishing you a way through the insurance issues, I will be thinking of you and sending you much love and good thoughts towards recovery. Hugs and love, your friend Errant. xxoo


    • Dearest Errant,
      Thank you so much for sharing your journey with me. I’m deeply moved. Where can I get 5 HTTP, in a health food store? Your love and light is greatly appreciated. I believe this amino acid will benefit me in many ways. Thank you so very much for bringing it to my attention.
      Much Love,
      Anastasia XoXo


  8. sjw2014 says:

    Oh my darling girl I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through! I am sending you much love, all my thoughts and soft careful hugs.

    S xx


  9. O says:

    Dear Anastasia. Congrats on your first year of blogging. Have missed hearing from you. Really sorry to hear of your travails. Thinking of you, and hoping you find your way back to a better place soon. As ever, O


  10. Much love, care and healing energies to you, dearest Anastasia. May you truly get well soon in every way. Big hugs x


    • Dearest Shirley,
      I have missed you so much! Thank you for your well wishes. I try everyday to make it better than the day before. I have not forgot our plans to collaborate. My goal is to write a little bit everyday.
      Much Love,
      Anastasia 😘


  11. writingthebody says:

    Like everyone else here, that pain sounds awful. I have had back pain in the past (like some others here too), and know a little of what you mean. But that is off the scale. I cannot understand why that stuff is not covered nationally….we complain over here about our health service, but honestly, when I read the stuff that happens in North America, my toes curl….take care, but I sense that it is going on for a while yet….


    • My Dearest John,
      Our health care in the U.S. has turned to shit….
      I’m trying to pull myself out of the depression, without any prescription meds. (they probably won’t cover it anyways) Some days are better than others. I’m now making an effort to open my laptop and check e-mails. Hope all is well by you, thinking of you.
      Hugs & Kisses 😘


  12. the work, I mean…and never give up.


  13. Wow you have been through a lot. I know all to we’ll about insurance.
    Just stay positive and all things will work out.
    So much love coming your way.


    • Dear Vile,
      Thank you so very much. I have chosen to focus my energies on positivity. I’m also trying to embrace the pain instead of being resistant. I have also chosen to pull myself out of the depression without the use of any prescription medications. One day at a time, and these days are much better. It has been the Wonderful Friends within our W.P. community, and their support that has made a difference in my life. I’m so very grateful.
      Your Friend,


  14. Just Patty says:

    Seems I missed something! Congratz on your one year of blogging! πŸ™‚
    Love & Hugz


  15. larryarcher says:


    I’m pulling for you and hope that you are able to get some relief. I can’t imagine what your going through but keep in mind that we all love you and know that you will come out on top of this.


  16. flatulentpet says:

    Thanks for connecting with me. Hope things will improve for you. Every where I turn there is so much pain being experienced by others, it tugs at the heart. Today I read about a Woman who had been arrested for neglecting her children. She was a homeless Woman, and she had left her two kids alone in her car during a job interview. Her mug shot was especially sad, as tears were rolling down her cheeks. Can you imagine how totally defeated she must have felt at that moment; homeless, desperate for work, and now busted for child neglect?


    • Dear F,
      Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Indeed there is Much Pain in our society. Especially for those who are trying there best to pull themselves out of a bad situation. I believe our society is becoming that of financial stature. If you make just &1.00 over the gross income limit you are not entitled to Any Assistance. If you can’t hire legal representation your F*%$ed. Sorry for the rant, I thinI have expressed my distain for the way things have become in our present economic situation, and don’t get me started with our Health Insurance and prescription coverage…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s