Chemical Imbalance: Thoughts And Feelings Of A Woman Experiencing The Depletion Of Estrogen

 

Chemical Imbalance:

Thoughts & Feelings Of A Woman Experiencing The Depletion Of Estrogen.

My thoughts scattered.

♀

A GPS without a satellite.

Being directed to enter and exit from the same on ramp.

This form of travel is unclear, distorted,

and unpleasant.

♀

The road is uneven gravel.

As tires rotate bits of crushed concrete

spew in all

directions.

♀

Disposition of emotions run rabid.

Exhibiting bared teeth,

an accumulation of dripping saliva that emanates into

effervescence, and

varied tones of inflection that escaped as each breath is exhaled.

To warn those around me.

♀

My Mind and Body

are Depleted,

and are being Manipulated by the loss of

Estrogen.

♀

I am over powered by the natural

process of aging.

♀

What happened to that 17-year-old girl?

♀

I feel her maiden within,

yet the mirror reflects

a middle-aged Woman

not yet a

Crone.

♀

Who is this Woman?

Who cry’s for no reason?

♀

Who is over whelmed by the intensity of

heat,

that no one else feels.

♀

Her Mind & Body

deprived from sleep.

♀

She dreams of the past,

fantasizing about her

future.

♀

Trying to accept and embrace

this new phase of

Womanhood.

♀

She lovingly embraces her Loved Ones

and Warns them.

♀

Careful the edges of the eggshells are

sharp and jagged.

♀

I’m trying my best to pick them up as they drop,

except as I pick up one

two drop.

♀

I just want to be Me

Again.

The Cat Found Her Mouse, The Dog Found His Bone: The Dinner Party: #5 of 7: Time To Say Good Night

  🔞Warning Mature Content🔞

Explicit Sexual Words & Themes

Time To Say Good Night

I leaned forward to reach for my drink Jake said “please let me get that for you”  as he handed it to me. “Thank you Darlin.” Our eyes met as he watched me bring the glass up to my lips, and sip at my drink. “Mmm I do love my Irish Cream on the rocks. Admittedly it does go straight to my head” I said smiling. “There is a sensuality in watching you sip your drink. The way you gently bring the glass up to your lips and just slightly tilt it allowing the liquid to roll into your mouth effortlessly.” I smiled playfully. “Jake.. anytime you desire placing any of your body against my lips or in my mouth you have an open invitation.” He grinned mischievously “Aahhh.. Kat don’t get me started, I’m already sporting a hard on.” “As much as I would love to touch you Jake….” I know he replied “this is definitely not the time or place.” “Jake you can be assured that my lips will touch you.”

“Kat..” “Yes Jake.” “I have to confess” As I gazed into his dreamy seductive eyes. “I’m quite attracted to Ian. His dominate features, and open-minded outlook is very appealing as are you my lovely Kat. Do you think anything could ever come to pass with us playing?” he asked with curiosity. “I  see a variety of play in our future. I foresee the three of us, and the two of you. Then I see me orchestrating, directing and adding a bit of kink in the mix” His face lit up like it was Christmas morning, as he raced to open the presents under the tree.“ I’m trying to figure out how to express to Ian my desires. I want to wrap my lips around his cock. Take him deep down my throat and make him spurt like a fountain. There are many more wicked acts I want to perform with and to him.” he expressed hungrily.

“Not to worry Jake… I have not doubt that Ian is aware of your attraction. He’s acutely observant, and I have no doubt he senses your best intentions. Perhaps you maybe surprised that he could be experiencing the same concerns as you.” I expressed compassionately.

Jake continued “I felt an overwhelming desire to fondle that magnificent outline his cock made in his pants while we talked before dinner. Of course this is not the time nor place. I believe first impressions are most important and foremost remembered” As we maintained eye contact. “I absolutely agree with you Jake.”

I expressed “Ian and I don’t participate within a social circle. Other than evenings like tonight when they are business orientated. You see Jake, Ian and I live with believing in Gratitude. Appreciating what we have, and what comes into our lives. We believe that like-minded people are brought together by unseen forces. Perhaps its the way we think outside the box, or the way we appreciate the box. This involves all aspects of our outlook regarding our relationship, sex, religion, yes and even politics. Both Ian and I need the companionship of a friend, and confidant.” Jake and I maintained eye contact as he nodded compassionately.

As Jake leaned back to reach his cell phone that was in his pant pocket. I took the opportunity to zoom in on the immensely defined bulge that outlined his crotch. Yahooo…this most definitely piqued my interest even more. “Kat would you like to exchange numbers?” “I’d like that and I have no doubt Ian feels the same way” As we were exchanging information, Ian and Chiaki were now walking back towards Jake and I. As they approach the love seat Jake leaned over and kissed me lightly on the lips.

(I didn’t see that coming, and loved it especially after that comment he made about how I drink.)

 He leaned forward picked up his drink stood up, and walked back to the love seat and sat next to Ian.

Chiaki sat down next to me on the love seat positioning herself in my direction. As she crossed her legs I could see she wasn’t wearing any panties. I caught a glimpse of her smooth-shaven snatch. (Thoughts ran wickedly as I imagined my face buried between her thighs.) “Did you enjoy dancing with Ian? Our eye’s met “yes I did, it gave us an opportunity to chat and get to know one another” she replied. Smiling I said “I’m elated the opportunity availed itself.” 

Chiaki announced “our hostess Lena is coming through the patio door right now.”  I said “its getting late I think it’s time for us to get going” Chiaki and Jake both nodded in agreement.

As Lena approached us she asked“may I refresh your drinks?” Ian replied “No thank you Lena, it’s getting late, its time for us to get going” Lena placed the empty glasses, and fruit platter on the tray, and walked into the house.

We all stood simultaneously and walked in pairs. Ian and I held hands. Jake and Chiaki walked side by side towards and through the glass door. Once inside we thanked our Host Michael and Hostess Lena for a lovely evening.

Ian and I decided to walk Chiaki and Jake to their cars. Jake walked closely to the right of me and said softly in my ear “I haven’t felt this wonderful after attending a dinner party. You have both made me feel comfortable just being me.” I put my right arm around Jake’s shoulder and turned my head in his direction, as he turned his head. Facing each other while walking I said “welcome to the family.”

First we walked Chiaki to her car. As we approached the car door she took her keys out of her clutch and disengaged the alarm. She turned and hugged Jake, and then took a step forward towards Ian and in unison they hug and then kissed lightly on the lips. She said to Ian“thank you for the lovely dance this evening. I had a Wonderful time.” 

We then gazed into each others eye’s. It was like she and I were the only ones standing out in the road.

In synch we walked towards each other. She positioned her body closely against mine. Wrapped both her arms around my shoulders, as I did to her petite figure. I could feel our tits rub against each other. That sent a jolt of lightning directly to my poonanie that endured much arousal this evening. I wanted nothing more than for us to get naked and rub and caress each others flesh. In that moment the thoughts that zipped through my mind of what I wanted to do to her body were probably illegal in most states.

She leaned upward her lips close to my ear as she spoke softly. I felt her warm breath against my ear “I will call you tomorrow, I want for us to spend the day together.” With our arms still around each other, I slightly leaned back to make eye contact. We gazed deeply. I smiled and said “I’m looking forward to seeing and spending time with you.” And then she….leaned in and kissed me so softly on the lips. This kiss made my Orchid Blush and I became considerably wet and extremely aroused. The feelings of infatuation and lust left me feeling intoxicated.

Chiaki turned around opened the driver door, and entered the car. As she started the engine she turned her head toward our direction smiled lovingly, and blew a kiss and drove off.

Ian, Jake and I walked across the street towards Jake’s car.  Jake turned to me and said “I’m looking forward to getting together, perhaps dinner?” “Yes we would like that.” “Great let me know how your schedules look.”  I said “Sounds good I’ll  call and let you know.” He turned to Ian and said “do you like to go fishing?” Ian turned in Jake’s direction and said excitedly “do I, it’s one of my many favorite hobbies.” “Fantastic! I will check out the tides, how does Saturday sound? We will take out the boat its docked at the Marina.” Ian’s face lit up with excitement.

As we approached Jake’s car, he pulled his keys out of his pocket. Disengaged the alarm. As the three of us stood in front of the driver door, Jake leaned forward and wrapped his arms around my shoulders hugging me snugly. Then leaned back and kissed me gently on the lips. “Kat it was a pleasure to have met you tonight, I’m looking forward to what the future shall bring,” I hugged him and said “Jake there are no coincides, it was meant to be I couldn’t be more delighted I’ll call you.”

Jake turned towards Ian as they simultaneously shook hands, and then gave each other a brisk hug. Jake said “I’ll be in touch to let you know about the fishing outing” Ian replied “That sounds great.” Jake opened the driver’s door entered the car, and turn the engine over. He looked in our direction and waved as he pulled away.

Ian and I walked towards our car. As we were talking about the events that took place tonight. We were in mutual agreement that there are no coincidence. This was what we both wanted for ourselves and each other. As we approached the car Ian gently and with intent pushed me against the passenger door and passionately kissed me. He said “Honey have I told you how much I love you today?” Mmmm I said “you know my memory”  We hugged each other tightly and entered the car and drove home.

Stayed Tuned for more adventures of these Daredevils of Deviance

 

 

The Cat Found Her Mouse, The Dog Found His Bone: The Dinner Party: #3 of 7: Poolside

 🔞 Warning Mature Content  🔞

Explicit Sexual Words & Themes

Poolside

Dinner was superb, the sensuality of the dishes served in combination with my heightened state of arousal was intoxicating. During dinner Chiaki ever so softly touched my hand that was resting on my lap, and smiled. She turned her head and whispered in my ear “I’m very aroused by your energies.” I was captivated. 

As our eyes met, our mutual deep gaze became mesmerizing. What was only momentary seemed timeless. Visions of her delicate petite flesh against mine bombarded my every thoughts. A spark of electricity zinged my now pulsating poonanie. I adjusted my seated position as the wetness from my panties only reinforced how deeply I wanted and desired her. 

My mind raced as if I was running to catch a train leaving the station. What did she just say? Did I hear her correctly? Is she bi-sexual like me? Did she prefer only women? Was she interested in men? In due time Kat, I told myself.

As we finished our dessert, our hostess Lena said “It’s a beautiful night would you like to have your after dinner drinks served poolside?” We all looked at each other and in unison replied “yes please.”

We courteously excused ourselves from the dinner table and walked through the glass door and outside. The shimmer of light that illuminated from the moon off the water, and balmy breeze was like a scene out of a romance novel. The poolside furniture was positioned in manner that an intimate conversation or the “Dance of Love” could take place without any disturbances from other guests or a surprise visitor.

Ian sat down on the loveseat across from Chiaki. I noticed Jake’s hand ever so gently brush against Ian’s leg. Ian and I made eye contact as we mutually acknowledged Jake’s motion, and simultaneously winked at each other.

Our hostess Lena arrived with our after dinner drinks, and a platter with a variety of fresh fruits.

Chiaki opened her clutch and removed her mobile phone. She repositioned herself facing towards me. With a glisten in her eye she smiled and asked “may I have your number? I would like very much for us to spend time together.” I smiled trying my damnedest not to look like the Cheshire cat “I would like that very much” as I gave her our number. 

Jake positioned himself on the love seat angled towards Ian, and said “I’m so glad to have met you and Kat this evening. I was starting to lose hope in finding like-minded companions.” “I know adult internet sites are not conducive to fostering real friendships, let alone anything enduring” Ian replied. As he leaned over and sipped at his single malt scotch. Ian placed his drink back on the table, looked at Chiaki and said “would you care to dance?” Chiaki turned and looked at me. I smiled and nodded. Ian stood and extended his right hand as Chiaki extended her right hand as she stood up. They walk closer to poolside. Ian placed his hands on her petite hips. She placed her arms around his neck. They danced slowly to the music playing in the background.

Jake smiled leaned over and picked up his bourbon. His mouth was sensual as he placed the glass up to his lips. I imagined how they would feel against mine. I began to fantasized him softly, and gently kissing my outer and inner lips as he dragged his tongue upon my erect clit. I had to reposition myself as my lace panties were wet.

Jake stood up and sat next to me positioning himself in my direction. He leaned forward and placed his drink on the table. I repositioned the pillows against my back. “Oh Kat I’m so glad I met you and Ian this evening.” I grinned as I said “we too are jazzed to have met you and Chiaki this evening.”

I peered just beyond Jake’s direction to watch Chiaki and Ian slow dance under the lite moon, it was quite romantic. A chill of excitement ran down my spine as I watched the man I’m deeply in love with dance closely with the Woman I deeply desired. I felt immensely tantalized. 

As Jake and I continued to talk he said “Kat I want to have a connection, a deep and meaningful relationship. I’m ready now my days of the club scene are over.” He continued “I want more than just a pal with whom I can enjoy a beer or a one night stand. Don’t get me wrong sometimes it’s nice to have raw animalistic sex with a complete stranger with no ties or commitments. While I have been speaking with you and Ian I feel a spiritual connection here and now it’s definitely deep and profound. I have not experienced this feeling of spiritual connection before.” 

“I do understand the feelings you expressed” as I looked intently into his eyes. “Jake…are you ready to accept unconditional love? To be appreciated for the person you are? There are no hidden agendas, everything is out in the open, no deceit, no lying. Are you ready to love and be loved unconditionally Jake?” I replied.

Stayed Tuned for more adventures of these Daredevils of Deviance.

 

 

I call her Goddess, She calls me Lover

dreamlanddancing

I have a bone to pick with no one in particular, but if only for the sake of clarification, I think that we may be due for reclassification of some very old Pursuits of Happiness.

Recently, the BD/SM community (wouldn’t it be great if we all really lived in the same neighborhood, by the way?) has begun to address the fact that although the Old Guard believes you are either a Top, or a Bottom, a Sadist or a Masochist, and that you either Bind or are Bound and either administer or receive the Discipline, My Advisors tell me this is no longer true….

For me, that is much too rigid, inflexible and limiting. I realize some people can only function in one capacity or the other because of…who knows?…lets just leave it at Something Happened Some Time Ago, or it may still be happening, but suffice it…

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